Communication

Stop and think about all the ways you communicate. In one day, I can easily mutually communicate or receive messages through several mediums. The Internet is my main source, chatting, email, reading, writing, conversing with others. Television, radio, telephone, snail mail, books, newspapers, magazines… many times words are agonized over before being transmitted, in the hopes to convey a precise message whether it be a broadcast or in print. But let's not forget the one way of communication I enjoy most (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this), and that is face-to-face.
A few months back, I had the pleasure of having my cards read for the first time by a guy at an art show I was exhibiting in. He was a pretty cool guy who said some stuff that did sound uncannily like me, but maybe that's because I'm a classic firey Sagitarrius. Anyway, he was a nice guy even if his eyebrows did remind me of Anton LaVey, and my husband and I quickly made friends with him and his wife. Later on that evening, after a few drinks and the pact of friendship had been made, he had the courage to tell me something I really needed to hear.
“We need to do something about your body language” he said, which instantly made me aware of how I was standing — like I usually do — what's comfortable for me, with my arms folded over my midsection, and a little hunched over. He reached out and grabbed my arms, positioning them in ways that were much more flattering. Suddenly I was very aware of what my body language had been communicating to the group of new-found friends that had huddled around my art work. He was right. I should have been standing tall, head back, arms receptively at my sides, but instead, I was wrapped up in a “comfortable” self-hug. I did feel I was actively participating in the conversation, I am usually not much of a talker though, preferring to absorb others' ideas, their voices and conversation weaving a vibrant tapestry. Had I been sub-consciously retreating as their voices slowly hypnotized me? Did they think I was withdrawn? Did they confuse my stature as a tell-tale sign that I was disinterested? And why did it feel so weird to stand that way at first? I felt so… vulnerable and unsteady, oddly self-conscious of my limbs. I wondered how long I'd been sending weird body language vibes to people. It was something I can't say I'd ever been conscious of before! But then, I felt something kinda strange… I felt more attractive, I felt more open and receptive, I felt more confident too, all just from changing my stance a little. It didn't matter any longer if the rest of the group didn't see me in this manner, I felt it and it edified me.
My great-grandmother used to always admonish me, “sit up straight in your chair, girl” and “your mother ought to make you sleep on a board or you'll forever be slouching like that!” But the value of good posture never really sunk in until I heard it from this guy. I really owe it to “Anton” because I don't think I'd have had the courage to say something like that to someone I'd just recently met. I love straight-shooters like Anton.
I think about that brief communication quite often when I am in social situations. I remind myself to stand up straight, not to close myself off from my company by crossing my arms over my midsection. And though it was uncomfortable to get used to, it has helped me get over my irrational fear of conversing with strangers and new acquaintances. Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about how we as a society have become so eagerly amicable with one another that we do not say what we really think as often as we should. This train of thought was recently expounded on by this humorous but spot-on Esquire article, I Think You're Fat.
And yes, my tattoos do communicate. I have one on my ankle that many have misinterpreted as being a Chinese character, but is actually the “boatman” symbol from Pink Floyd's Division Bell which deals a lot with communication. “The word cybernetics is derived from the Greek word kubernetes which means steersman, or helmsman, or boatman perhaps. For the ancient Greeks, the word meant the art of guiding people, or the science of governance. In terms of communication theory, cybernetics, though originally designated 'the' science of communication at its birth, is today often differentiated from other schools of thought in communication as a discipline that emphasizes feedback–in its simplest form, two-way communication.” Pink Floyd and the Publius Enigma (yes I really am that geeky that I followed the Publius Enigma puzzle for a while)
So in essence, my ankle tatt communicates “communication”… anyway, that's where my heads been at lately. This was all written just to say what I wish I could have said in person that evening before we parted – Hey Anton, you know who you are… yeah you, thanks for the advice! Now let's talk about those evil eyebrows of yours…